On Living In A Nightmare

I’ve been away from my blog for like, five months. It has been a crazy couple of months. I started studying Visual Communication, what I absolutely praise. So I was busy working on my educational projects. Although I had to spend a lot of time and energy on those projects, I learned a lot by working on them.  I also started working harder on TEDxTUA 2017 which it’s due was getting closer and closer. Near to the deadline, we had zero financial sponsors which made the process extra hard. In the final weeks, Hami Association saved us by sponsoring our event. With lots of interactions, conflicts, and problems we finally managed to organize our event rather strongly. I can’t thank my incredible friends and our fabulous volunteers enough, for what they have done in this stressful and difficult period. Besides all this, I was working hard at work; I finally started to produce the type of videos I like. In overall these months were busy but I had a lot of fun too. I met new people and experienced a lot of things. One of the reasons that I was left out of my writing routine was this crazy timeline. I had literally no time for this, unfortunately. The personal side apart, the past few months have been disastrous in Iran.

First, there was this huge earthquake in November taken place in Kermanshah. More than 600 people died and around 70 thousand residents lost their home. Many are still living in tents despite the cold rainy weather in the influenced areas. This was considered to be the most heartbreaking story of the year, or as we thought so! A little while after that we were facing the worst air pollution in Tehran and other large cities, in years. This situation led to the shutdown of the schools and forcing new limits on traffic. On December 20th, in the middle of Tehran’s pollution crisis, a 5.2 magnitude earthquake occurred in the capital. I’m not gonna forget that night. It was surreal. Terrified people were wandering around in streets in the center of the polluted city. The chain of horrible incidents then continued, of course. Protests in Tehran and many other major cities dragged to violence. A lot of people were busted, some were killed and a few hung themselves in the prisons. This was a nightmare. On January 6th, an Iranian tanker (Sanchi) crashed with a Chinese ship which caused it to explode and sunk, leaving all the 32 crew dead. Not to mention how saddening that was but our miseries didn’t end here. In objection to mandatory hijab, a lot of Iranian women started to lose their headscarves and hung them as flags. Of course, this was faced with yet another domestic arrestment conducted by the police. Dollar value rate increased insanely in currency markets, a plane with 66 passengers crashed into Dena mountains and in a bloody clash between police and Gonabadi dervishes in Tehran, three policemen died and more than 300 protesters are arrested.

Yesterday I was thinking that all these things were just like nightmares. We were not living a normal life but we were experiencing a nightmare instead and even worse because we just kept waking up in another nightmare. This reminded me of Rust Cohle’s quotes in True Detective:

Why should I live in history, huh? I don’t want to know anything anymore. This is a world where nothing is solved. Someone once told me time is a flat circle. Everything we’ve ever done, or will do, we’re gonna do over and over and over again.

In eternity, where there is no time, nothing can grow. Nothing can become. Nothing changes. So death created time to grow the things that it would kill and you are reborn but into the same life that you’ve always been born into. I mean, how many times have we had this conversation, detectives? Well, who knows? When you can’t remember your lives, you can’t change your lives, and that is the terrible and secret fate of all life. You’re trapped, like a nightmare you keep waking up into.

After the 2016 presidential election, I realized how divided the United States is right now. A pathological liar wins the presidency and Americans lost the chance to elect their first woman president. How was that possible? I thought a lot about this issue. In addition to following US news and political late night shows, I even started to read What Happened by Hillary Clinton and Fire and Fury by Michael Wolff. The thing is that for the first time I was thinking that maybe finally Iran, the most complicated society, is more stable than America, Maybe our people are on the track of progress. But with all these incidents, protests and lack of crisis management, I feel that I was fooling myself. Yeah, maybe we were sane enough to elect the obvious better choice in our presidential election but that doesn’t mean we are not divided. We are the nation of paradoxes, division, and hate and it seems we are not going to change for a long time. Of course, the situation has become better by nature, but we have a long long way to go. All these surreal scenarios that keep happening to us, are reminders that we are not living a normal life, that everything is just getting worse and worse. We got to do do something and it has to be now.

Recommended Posts

Leave a Comment